Mike
2006-10-01 15:34:14 UTC
Jake Palmer, NY, NY, USA
At NSA headquarters we recorded the following conversation between Kirsan Ilyumzhinov, President of the Russian Republic of Kalmykia, and Vladimir Putin, President of the Russian Federation. Due to the intelligence technology used (bugs) we could only record one side of the conversation. Anyway, here it is:
- Vladimir? Oh, sorry, I need to speak to Vladimir Putin. I have been waiting for an hour now.
- No, I don't have an appointment. He asked me brief him on the chess match, when there are new developments. Okay, I'll wait...
- Vladimir, is it you? Oh, good. Well, the match is over...
- Yes, I know, but one of the players had to be disqualified after game four. Kramnik. Yes, our Russian world champion. It was because of the number of times he was visiting the toilet. His opponents claimed it was too often and very suspicious...
- Topalov. The Bulgarian. Yes, he is now the world champion...
- No, actually he was trailing by 1:3, and Kramnik was looking very solid. But we had to disqualify him...
- Vladimir, please be reasonable. It was not my decision...
- Vladimir, I know you are very upset, and I can understand that, but it was the Appeals Committee that took the decision and awarded the title to the Bulgarian...
- The "Appeals Committee". They control the outcome of the match.
- One is Greek, one is Mexican and one I forget. Okay, don't shout. He's Georgian. And the Chief Arbiter is Dutch. Yes, they disqualified the Russian and awarded the title to the Bulgarian...
- Yes, I know I am the President of Kalmykia, and am paying for the event. But it is their decision, and even if I don't agree with it...
- Vladimir, you are shouting again. You are very upset, I can see that. I think it is better to continue this discussion later...
- What do you mean? Yes of course I want to keep my position. You nominated me yourself a last October.
- Vladimir, look, I really think it is better to continue talking when you calm down. I'm hanging up now. No really. Alexander is calling on the other line. Alexander Zhukov, your deputy. Yes, the Chess Federation guy. They say he sounds very angry.
- Talk to you later, Vladimir. And please don't do anything rash. I'll find a way out of this mess. I promise.
- (Deep, long sigh, then click. End of conversation.
At NSA headquarters we recorded the following conversation between Kirsan Ilyumzhinov, President of the Russian Republic of Kalmykia, and Vladimir Putin, President of the Russian Federation. Due to the intelligence technology used (bugs) we could only record one side of the conversation. Anyway, here it is:
- Vladimir? Oh, sorry, I need to speak to Vladimir Putin. I have been waiting for an hour now.
- No, I don't have an appointment. He asked me brief him on the chess match, when there are new developments. Okay, I'll wait...
- Vladimir, is it you? Oh, good. Well, the match is over...
- Yes, I know, but one of the players had to be disqualified after game four. Kramnik. Yes, our Russian world champion. It was because of the number of times he was visiting the toilet. His opponents claimed it was too often and very suspicious...
- Topalov. The Bulgarian. Yes, he is now the world champion...
- No, actually he was trailing by 1:3, and Kramnik was looking very solid. But we had to disqualify him...
- Vladimir, please be reasonable. It was not my decision...
- Vladimir, I know you are very upset, and I can understand that, but it was the Appeals Committee that took the decision and awarded the title to the Bulgarian...
- The "Appeals Committee". They control the outcome of the match.
- One is Greek, one is Mexican and one I forget. Okay, don't shout. He's Georgian. And the Chief Arbiter is Dutch. Yes, they disqualified the Russian and awarded the title to the Bulgarian...
- Yes, I know I am the President of Kalmykia, and am paying for the event. But it is their decision, and even if I don't agree with it...
- Vladimir, you are shouting again. You are very upset, I can see that. I think it is better to continue this discussion later...
- What do you mean? Yes of course I want to keep my position. You nominated me yourself a last October.
- Vladimir, look, I really think it is better to continue talking when you calm down. I'm hanging up now. No really. Alexander is calling on the other line. Alexander Zhukov, your deputy. Yes, the Chess Federation guy. They say he sounds very angry.
- Talk to you later, Vladimir. And please don't do anything rash. I'll find a way out of this mess. I promise.
- (Deep, long sigh, then click. End of conversation.